I’m Suicidal Over Losing My Hair at 18 Years Old!

My question, before you start reading my situation, is simply and purely “what should I do?” I’m a gay, 18 year old male who in the last six months has noticed his hair considerably thinning and then, about two months ago, considerable amounts falling out. My hairline near my temples has receded about an inch a month, the rate is staggering. With my fringe covering my hair, however, it is not at all noticeable and my hair at the back (although thinner) has produced no visible bald spots as of yet, though that is inevitable.

My problem is my mood. I have been to my GP for blood tests and tests on my thyroids, all of which came back as fine (worse than fine, optimum!) So, alas, I have to accept it is baldness. However, I’m struggling to accept it. It turned me from the hip socialite to the withdrawn type who has not only considered suicide, but actually planned it now. I’ve always had a problem with my own face with short hair (having had long hair from a very young age!) and do not find men with short hairstyles or shaved heads attractive in the slightest, so why should I expect them to find me attractive?

I spend every day miserable, and angry. I have fits of rage, and fits of tears and it simply can’t continue. I’ve lost over 50lbs in weight through not eating and I have no interest in doing so. The advice of most is, “that’s the cards you’ve been dealt, you HAVE to deal with it.” However, this is not an option for me and, realistically, I know that if that’s all there is, I will most likely end up killing myself. What do I do?

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I am concerned about your mental health, as you should be. People who seriously entertain suicide for hair loss need professional help. You should understand there are many young men in the world in your exact situation, and there are many things you can do about treating hair loss.

There’s no easy answer to the question you posed in the opening sentence of your email. Any hair loss you’re seeing could be attributed to your extreme diet or genetics, but there’s no way for me to know without an examination. I would suggest you see a doctor about hair loss and treatment options, but more importantly consider discussing your issues with friends or counselors. Losing hair is not the end of the world. You should really seek out someone who will help you deal with life.

Tags: hair loss, hairloss, teen, teenager, suicide

22 thoughts on “I’m Suicidal Over Losing My Hair at 18 Years Old!

  1. Bro! I know exactly how you feel…I started losing my hair when I was 19! My last year of high school…I was really popular…Probably the most popular guy at my school! Then in the summer of 1984, my hair just started going! I remember going to a party when I was 20, and I heard a group of girls taking about me. One girl said, ”Hey, there’s Mike, he used to be really cool!” then laughter!

    Now if that doesn’t just destroy a young 20yr guy’s ego, then I don’t know what does.
    I spent the best years of my life at home looking in the mirror trying anything and everything that promised to grow my hair back while my friends where out having fun enjoying there lives….

    Anyways, that was 25 years ago and now, I am in the best shape of my life and still have hair. I have a wife that loves me and two beautiful kids. If I would have taken the road you mentioned, I would of had none of that.

    Losing hair sucks….thats the naked truth…there is no denying that but luckily you live in a time where there are many viable treatment options out there that actually WORK.
    Back in the early 80’s there was nothing!!

    So I would advise you to talk to someone like Dr. Rassman in private who can guide you to what works and what doesn’t.

    And maybe seek help with regards to your thoughts of suicide.

    Sure..life is hard but there are so many great things too!

    Good Luck Brother!

  2. Hey, I know exactly how you feel. I started noticing my hair loss at 17, I’m turning 19 now and this sucks! I have having to see my friends with their full heads of hair, going out, partying while I’m to embarrassed to be recognized or even tell my real age because people assume I’m way older. It’s funny how things can change, from being voted one of the better looking guys in my senior year at highschool to being ashamed of who I am.

    I’m trying the best I can not to let it put me down, and too be honest, I tear up randomally looking at myself in a mirror someday.

    But hey, like LAZERFISH said, i’m hoping everything would turn out well for me in the future.

  3. I know exactly how you feel. I think theres even more pressure in the gay community to have thick, well styled hair, especially at our age. I’ve certainly become more of a recluse since mine started to thin and when voicing my concerns typically get the same response you did. I could go on forever with this, but to keep it short… Hang around, I have a feeling something good is coming soon.

  4. To this young man

    For an 18 year old, you have an incredibly elegant writing style. You obviously have a lot going for you.

    I’m also gay (26). I know that the gay scene can be superficial at times, but the good news is that baldness afflicts the majority of men. In fact, some of the best looking gay men I know are bald. And I know a lot of good looking men. Focus on what you’ve have, not on what you don’t.

  5. I started losing my hair at nineteen, and while I was by no means suicidal, I was devastated. I’m now twenty-one and have been on finasteride for about two and a half years. I don’t really care about the balding any more. I would certainly prefer to have a full head of hair, but any one who really judges you on that has a worthless opinion any ways.
    I’m shocked that you would be so superficial to consider suicide over a cosmetic issue. There are plenty of people living with real pain and misery who I am sure would do anything to trade lives with you and have such a trivial problem. Balding isn’t the end of the world, and every one who has been telling you to just get used to it is right. I know that experiencing it at such a young age is hard, but in a few more years I’m sure you’ll notice plenty of your friends losing their hair too. Until then, stop being so shallow and get on with your life.

  6. I found myself in a very similar situation as the OP a few years back. At a young age, hair loss can be absolutely devastating and it can seem as if there is nothing to look forward to. This is absolutely not true.

    To many people, OP may seem vain and superficial. But these people need to understand that he is young and he just wants his life back. It’s not that he thinks his suffering is worse than anyone else’s, and it’s not that he lacks perspective. He is just in a really frustrating position, and no one ever really empathizes with people who are losing their hair.

    Over time, I hope the OP will get to a point in his life where even if there was no cure in sight, he would still be happy and content. Luckily, there are many exciting options coming down the pipeline in the next few years, so much so that he may never even have to lose more hair.

    OP: Losing my hair was hard, but it motivated me to do many great things with my life – things I never would have done otherwise. Do your best to stay positive, and find out why you were meant to go through this.

  7. Hey man, I’m 26, and just starting out as a lawyer. I’m losing my hair too. I can tell you that I’ve gone through many rough periods in my life. I’ve had a woman I dated for 7 years leave me in the middle of the worst crisis in my life. I also failed to get decent grades my first year of law shool, all but killing my career prospects. I’ve had several unspeakably bad moments that rank at about that level because of academics, professional matters and relationships. I contemplated suicide many times. Going bald sucks, but, the last time I thought about suicide I kind of realized that sometimes when you think you can’t go on and you just say “fuck it, let’s see what’s on the other side of this hole I’m in” and you dig in and just keep going some amazing things can happen. When it feels like everyone has let you down, you’ve failed in every way you possibly could have, and you’ve been denied everything you wanted and even your body has failed you but you don’t give up, you almost always see a better day. I went from seeing no point to life, and holding on only because I didn’t to male my friends and family cry to having some pretty awesome experiences. I’ve come to see that there is always some redeeming quality to keeping up the fight. Losing your hair will make your life more challenging, but it won’t defeat you, only you can defeat yourself. It doesn’t matter how many battles you lose as long as you keep fighting for the things you want, and if you never get them, at least you can say that you died fighting. Your real friends won’t abandon you for being balled, some men that you like will find you attractive (in the end you only need one person to like you).

    Accept the fact that you have been given this challenge, and come up with a plan for how you are going to deal with it, and eventually overcome it.

    Remember that even if you can not see a reason to live for yourself anymore, you can always find a reason to live for others.

    Also if you like long hairstyles it’s easy to get a wig :-). My sister had an accident and had to have her hair shaved off, and she wears a beautiful long wig, nobody can tell and she is gorgeous.

    I wish you happiness my friend. Never surrender.

  8. Hey, i remember when my hair first started falling out at just 15yrs of age. At the time I had long hair and really cared about it, but after a few weeks I thought f*** it!! It’s only hair, hair doesn’t give you any advantages or disadvantages (not that I’ve come across?) – I’ve only ever had little kids, mainly girls pass the odd joke but that’s about it!! I know we all react to things differently but hopefully soon, you’ll come to understand that hair loss is not the biggest thing to worry about! Who knows, maybe it’ll give you a more attractive look? :)

  9. same thing here I lost my hair when I was 15 can you imagine that then at 19 had 5 unsuccessful hair transplants, never had a real girlfriend cause I was bald when I needed my looks, the most. Many people will say that its noting to worry about or that you should go and see someone who has no legs or arms, but that pain that you feel is yours and only yours people who say that most probably have a wad of hair or if they lost their hair or a hand wouldnt even know what to do. Seek a good doctor that can get you a decent hair transplant but remember that tehre might be more issues within yourself than just the hair

  10. When I was a young man, I had long beautiful curly light bronw hair. I let it grow to the center of my back. It was me. It was how I was recognized. Then at the age of 21, it began to fall out, and I managed to keep it looking somewhat normal for several more years by cutting off my hair. But eventually there was nothing I could do. The back of my head looked like a flashlight lens. Did I suffer about it? Incredibly. Eventually, I decided that if I am not to have hair, I will just shave my head completely. Thats what I did and women fell in love with me again. The didnt like the thin hair look and women dont like that. They like all the way bald or all the way hairy. Of course, they prefer hair, just as I prefer thin women to fat women. Main thing is that almost every famous person, pop singer, famous actor, most favored politician has a full set of hair. It does help to have a lot of hair. It is that kind of world. Hair helps people become successful. But suicide? No, cut it off, all of it and build your body. Enhance other attributes of your appearance. But never kill yourself. Kill someone else, but not yourself.

  11. Dude, we are in the same boat…..I too contemplate suicide on a daily basis. I am 25, male, Indian. I genetically am not predisposed to balding, but have been losing hair for the past 5 years or so just because of some hyper-acidity, constipation, and the resulting mental stress. And finally, when I started getting better on all these fronts, and stopped losing hair, 6 months back, I got an amazing job (the first of my career), but in a god-forsaken place, where all these health problems have cropped up again…..Now, I’m losing my hair again, and an FUE transplant that I got some time back has started looking bad, like a broom’s hairs due to the receded hairline…..I think about suicide everyday now, but only one thing keeps me off it, and that is the thought of me ending up at a much worse place in a much worse situation where I shall remain deprived of my family, after death. I still don’t know when, if I ever will, carry through with a plan to commit suicide. It could be a minute after I finish writing this post, or it may never happen.

    Dude, the point is, that everything in this world is a choice, and nothing or no one is absolutely wrong…..not even suicide. Do it if you feel that it will make you feel better afterwards (afterlife is very much a possibility, I myself have seen a ghost or two in my life so far :-) ) and you won’t regret it. All of us have to die some day anyways. But keep in your mind one thing man…we are humans, and humans are short-sighted and over-confident…and therefore, we don’t seem to realize how much valuable those things are which we already have. In my case, I feel that this thing is my family, whose value I realized one night when I had a nightmare in which I lost it to a plane crash.

    As for the other people who keep on telling us otherwise, I have only one thing to say, and it is that nothing sells like sex, no amount of adventure or music or work can cure this primal itch of ours, more so in the immensely capitalist world of today. And to be quite frank, all this frustration (much of it sexual) regarding hair loss won’t end until there’s a permanent cure around.

  12. I hope that you’ve made some peace with this by now, my friend. I’m a gay man also and I know very well how much gay culture and advertising promotes a certain look for young men – thin as a rail with a thick head of trendy-styled hair full of product, LOL. The fact that so many young men suffer with anorexia trying to be thin illustrates how powerful and sometimes damaging these relentlessly-repeated images of “The Ideal” can be.

    I started noticing hair loss at 26. I hadn’t even had any fun yet or enjoyed my youth, as I was so conflicted about being gay I was still in the closet and hadn’t even been with a guy yet. My hair loss was very slow and gradual, so when I finally did come out at 30 and start really living, I still had enough hair for it to look halfway decent. But I had always kind of had a “thing” for young guys with shaved heads, and my progressing hair loss gave me an excuse to be bold and try the look myself. I just said to heck with it and started shaving my head. I didn’t get any less positive attention. I still wore my hoodies and tight jeans and such and guys didn’t suddenly start thinking I was “old” just because my head was shaved. On the contrary, some guys seemed to get turned on by rubbing my head, it was like a novelty to them.

    That which is bold and different attracts more attention than being one more gay guy who looks just like all the other trendy club kids. Being bald sure didn’t stop Chris Daughtry or Vin Diesel or Jason Statham from becoming huge stars and sex symbols. There are plenty of boys who are beautiful with great hair who are utterly lacking in confidence. Confidence and being comfortable in your own skin is way sexier, to me, than hair.

  13. I have the same problem, and there isn’t really any solution to it. I live in a hot climate, so when I try to hide my head under a hat, it’s a hot, wet, itchy, miserable experience. Which is why I get annoyed when people suggest using a “hair system.” While I can rationally think “it’s only hair,” I can’t help my feelings. I have been told that I am not a good candidate for a transplant, which is the only option that would have otherwise been viable for me. What the problem comes down to is an identity issue: if such things didn’t commonly exist, people would only avoid being fat because of the health consequences. I look in the mirror every day and only see a stranger. I use to identify as gay, but I’m really more gender queer; so it’s really upsetting being unable to control something which makes me look far more masculine than I will ever be comfortable with.

  14. I landed up on this post searching for any reported suicide attempts over hair loss and to find out whether i am the only one bearing such a feeling. I’m 22 and have been losing hair for 2 years now. I used to be a cheerful and fun-loving guy before i started experiencing hair-loss. And then hair-loss led me to become one of the most unfriendly and uninteresting guys around owing to severe depression.

    I have been going through some of the hair-loss blogs and videos over the past couple of months and have realized one thing that hair-loss has had drastic changes in the personality of the sufferers and their general opinion about themselves. And the impact it actually has on our lives is overwhelming. If a thing is capable of arousing suicidal feelings in one’s mind, it has to be something that is deeply rooted in our identities.

    I know people around us (including our families) ask us to compare ourselves with others who are worse off (with no education, the blind, the disabled) and i don’t think they are wrong in any respect (after all, they want us to be happy), but we can never explain them the pain we go through and the fact that no amount of comparisons with the people who are worse off helps improve our situation.

    If this is really affecting the lives of so many people out there, ruining their lives, then i guess, there is an urgent need to do something about it. It really is hard to wake up each morning and see that your hair loss is only getting worse, and then that feeling haunts you for the rest of your day, and days pass and you never come out of that cycle. If the researchers and the doctors could do something about this, you should know that you’ll give us new lives and that it would be something that would really bring us back from the graves of depression.

  15. HI there am George from Ghana,i started loosing my frontal hair at 19.i have tried so many medicine to cure my shyness but to no avail.it started immediately i found my self in masturbation.i read a lot on masturbation and got to know that masturbation not only bring baldness but also prevent hair from growing at that particular trait.i became sad and wanted to commit suicide cos all my friends knew how i looked handsome and lovely in any cut i make.friends started laughing and throwing anger at me.i taught it wise to quit the relationship i have with friends and girlfriends.i have tried any medicine bt to no avail.i want to try rogaine but am afraid i will worsen the case.can somebody help me with that please????

  16. Not that it’s a contest or anything but I started losing mine at 12….Imagine what that would be like. I was ridiculed and ostracized my entire adolescent life. But now at 25 it’s like nothing. To anyone going through a similar problem just know that as you age, it becomes less and less of an issue. All the best. :)

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