Hi, this might be an unusual question but how much and in what way can the low self esteem/ balding thing affect how a man interacts with women??
I am wondering becuase I recently dated a bald guy and I think he had a few hangups about it and I really think that it affected the way he percieved himself, and me , and the potential relationship. I only went out with him about 8 times. On our first date, he asked me if I was only going out with him because my car was towed, and this was a serious question ( he never thought that I thought he was attractive). Then when I would flip my hair around my fingers he would tell me to stop playing with my hair, and implied that I was being vain. But I have long hair that I like to twist and play with, and I kept doing it, not thinking it was an ACTUAL problem. Until he really got kind of upset, I mean he didnt yell but he got really weird and short with me and told me that It was a sign of nervousness and low selfesteem to play with ones hair….WHAT?!?!?!
Then one night I was a little late getting ready for a date with him and he asked what the hold up was, and I told him I wasnt finished with my hair, it takes an awful long time to dry it, style it, etc. So he made fun of me for it, and told me I would rather “fart around with my hair, than hang out with him”. Then he dropped the subject, for the moment..but brought it up again at dinner…but in a really sarcastic and mean way…”so what else do you like to do, besides, fart around with your hair??” Then, I tried to explain to him that my hair, while lovely and all, is really a pain in the butt to take care of…and he got mad at me and said “ya, I wish I had hair”
Our relationship ended soon after that as he got more and more focused on the idea that I was a prissy girl who farted with her hair all day long, and really wasnt attracted to him. but I was really really attracted to him. Is it in my mind, or did he have something going on in his brain because he was bald. I thought he looked very confident and masculine, its not like he combed it over…he shaved his head for godsake!!!
Is this a common thing with bald men or is it just this guy???
This is an important question. Low self esteem is an issue for men who are impacted by balding. Balding in men, and how to treat it, goes back thousands of years as evidenced by much of what we have learned from older civilizations. But in our modern world, not only are we studying how to solve the problem of balding, we are also considering men’s feelings about balding. Just like women who are proud of a good figure, a pretty face, or a nice head of hair, men spend time grooming themselves to look their best. It is hard to groom your hair if it is not there! I often refer to the lion’s mane as a symbol of virility, for without it the lion might be mistaken for a lioness. No man wants to look less virile than they feel.
Men do get impacted by their balding. When he loses his hair, a man who has relied on his physical appearance to project his personality and virility, may then become self conscious. This may change the way he interacts with his environment. I have seen this happen to men from all walks of life – famous men, billionaires, and geniuses are no different in this respect to the ordinary, average Joe.
I remember a very wealthy man who I did transplants on, who was a great speaker, CEO of a company, dynamic and very outgoing. Two years after he had his transplants, his wife came to me and told me that the man she married came back. His hair impacted his behavior in many subtle ways that she did not appreciate until he became the hairy man she knew 20 years earlier. I was very surprised to learn about it. The person he presented to the world was clearly different than the person she knew privately. They had a very successful marriage and I envied him in many ways, that being one of them.
I could go on and on with all sorts of stories, but bottom line, be kind, do not draw attention to your hair when you are with balding man, particularly if he is sensitive to it as you claimed in your question!