Are there any alternatives to finasteride? Does anything else even come close? I’d love to get your opinion on it

Yes, there is the use of systemic minoxidil which can grow the hair. The side effects are typical minoxidil side effects like low blood pressure.  You need to find a doctor willing to prescribe this.  I generally recommend that you first try the finasteride and as 90+% of people tolerate it well, there is no need to go to an alternative; however, if you are the 4% that has sexual side effects, then I would prescribe the oral minoxidil. This drug was used in its oral form in India and other poor countries that could not get finasteride with great reported results I have heard at medical meetings. Some doctors in the US are also reporting good results with the oral form of minoxidil.