Am I balding and how can manage seeing my scalp?

I am assuming that you are a female and that you have some form of female hair loss.  To get a diagnosis for cause, you needs medical tests which are defined in this post here: https://baldingblog.com/2009/03/13/woman-with-handfuls-of-hair-that-come-out-every-morning/.  You can treat this cosmetically with scalp micropigmentation, something that my daughter-in-law did with us. See here for examples: https://scalpmicropigmentation.com/smp-for-women/