I Have a Head Ache — Oops, I Mean a Hair Ache

I often wondered why so many people crowd dentists offices to get their teeth worked on. Today I had the chance to speak with a very prosperous dentist who told me it was due to the fact that most people starting with a dentist come when they have a tooth ache. It is the pain that drives them to the dentist’s office. At the time of the visit, they get loved (by the good dentists who understand nurturing patient loyalty) and the plan to end pain is defined. Short term relief is given and any relief brings on appreciation. The more the love that the patient senses, the more the loyalty. The dentist then checks his teeth and most people who were less than ‘good’ about dental care, get diagnosed with a variety of cavities, get recommendations on that chipped tooth that they had for some time and as they might even have dental insurance. They get a good dental hygiene program and then get educated on the need for regular dental care. They may start off with 800-DENTIST to find the dentist, that white tooth knight that will make their pain go away. With most people who have tooth decay (because of bad gum management and no flossing), constant dental care is critical and thousands of dollars goes from the patient’s pocket to the dentist’s bank account. The pain from a tooth ache is often precipitous, and emergency care often starts the process.

Imagine Joe Smith, coming into the emergency room. He says: “Doctor, my head aches”. “Well,” says Joe, “the pain came on this morning when I was about to shave. I put lather on my face and realized that the dome of my head was empty. Then I knew that the pain which has been building for some time, caused my hair dome to shine. Doctor, what can I do about my hair ache? It now bothers me all of the time.” The doctor probes his head, asks more and more about his symptoms and then finds out that what he is actually describing is a hair ache.

As the doctor who first meets him, I find out that his insurance does not cover hair aches (it is not a known, defined benefit of health insurance). “But,” says Joe, “I have the best insurance that money can buy!” Now Joe is in a quandary — does he have to go into his wallet and pay real cash to fix that hair ache? Does he put off his new car, that vacation he is planning for next summer? Joe thinks about it and he realizes, unlike a tooth ache which keeps him from sleeping, his hair ache can be ignored. That baseball hat seems to work well and his hair does not ache as much when he wears it. He could wear his hat when he shaves in the morning and maybe the hair won’t hurt. Joe finds out that the costs of putting back the hair on the front of his dome will be about the cost of some veneers on the frontal teeth that his dentist recommended, or a tuneup on his Jag (and he loves his Jag). The only good news about Joe’s hair costs are that once the hair is put back, the hair lasts forever. Best of all, he doesn’t have to worry about brushing his hair after every meal, hair decay or even flossing his new hair. Those veneers, however, need to get replaced from time to time and they may fall off once the tooth behind them decays again.